When I am in Detroit, I feel like I am losing the gift that I have. It may not be true but it feels this way.
“People need other people to relate to for a connection & I’m losing that”
“No one can understand your kind of creativity beside other creative minds and because we are surrounded by so few, it makes you feel extreme and you begin to suppress it”
I was having an ichat conversation with a friend and I promise I feel like they were in my head when they typed that.
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If you are winning the game but the only person in the arena is you… Are you sure you are playing anyone or are you just practicing? I’ve thought about it for awhile and I am pretty sure that I have just been practicing. We get so comfortable where we are at that we are afraid to take a chance, afraid of taking the big shots because we do not want to be frowned upon. We would looove to be the person to hit the buzzer beater though, right? You can’t be afraid to be afraid.
Its very hard to better yourself when people do not know quality. You ask someone a question and they are comparing it to what they are used to seeing from those people in the area. Thats not a good comparison if the people in the area suck. We laugh and joke about it but its the truth. Its even more difficult to progress when you are in a circle of people that have never had a passion for anything. If you can honestly say that you have never been passionate about any one thing then what motivation do you even have to get up each morning? Thats a real question… If you are not passionate about anything is there even anything that you can even hold a real conversation about? I’ve noticed that a lot of people that have never been passionate about anything turn to religion. If its not religion then they try to clinch on to something they see someone else is passionate about. Like my boy P.L. always says, “people are starting to realize they’re gonna lose. So they attach themselves to winners in ANYWAY possible.” I couldn’t agree with this more right now. I just hope that the winning team you are trying to attach yourself to has another spot on that roster for the waterboy.
Where I am from its like a big fashion show and if you are not wearing a leather jacket with stitchings of faces or dollar signs on them or designer sneakers and circular shaped glasses with gold on the sides you are out of the race. If you are not outside of the club with bigger rims then that of the car in front of you or behind you then you are looked over by the “pretty women”
lol, If you read here.. chances are, you are the foolish one. Who would you speak to about what you are reading or the progress you’ve made throughout the week? All those you surround yourself want to know is “where the hoes at?!” or if you gon’ “light that shit up!”
The city where the young black women feel they have three choices when it comes to who their role model will be… 1) Beyonce 2) Rihanna or 3) Nicki Minaj… Not much to choose from.
At night, the businesses downtown are covered with giant garage like doors to prevent people breaking in and every other building you pass has either shattered glass or boarded windows with a for sale sign. So many sale signs you would think the whole city agreed to have a huge yard sale on the same day.
Eventually it will come back… I know it will, but right now its not the place I need to be. Its not the place for me.
I am not going to go on and on about the city and i am not giving up on it. I do feel like its time for me to relocate though. When you start to feel like you are in a box and everyone around you becomes content with their situation you then start to adapt to the foolishness and think this is where you belong. I didn’t belong here when I felt this way the first second or third time. I don’t belong in this city now. I wont be in this city come spring. Its just not enough unity, not enough creativity and the “fashion forward” people in the area think bright colors, tutu’s and paint splattered on t-shirts is what makes them different. That shits wack.
Not taking shots at any one person in the city in which I work out of… However, if any of this offends you then you’ve put yourself in a box a long time ago.